Someone Else

When the Pray is at work.
Maybe my Mind is not out to get you.
Mind Centered and I'm thinking
"They better move ,because I'm coming in
 And nothing matters, but you.
A kiss on the lips is nothing to my Brother
But my lips were dry
And they laughed about it for years.
When all it needed was some water.
I nearly fainted,
From the heat,
I was so thin.
We didn't eat much.
"Sandpaper and Tunafish!
That guy is Boring!"
Holding a blanket against his Shoulders.
Wish it were my arms around him.
"Someone punched me in the mouth!"
Mouth bleeding.
"You're not my Father.  Where are you?"
He thinks I'm someone else.snicker......
"This guy is a dork."
Written by Shayla D. Smith

I Was Alive (Staying Alive After Rehab)

You have a Death wish.
Those Words are alive.
Not just a Ghost.
I was alive.

Then I'd marry you ,Hunny.
Let's go to the Chapel.
A Ceiling, no Stars inside.

Don't get angry.
They think that I am.
I thought you would have killed him.
I almost died.
The World wept and cried.
I saw my own death.
Something that was happening for a year.

I could have guessed?
Now, you are crying,
Grinding those teeth,
As you mourn,
I'm mourning too,
What did it matter to you?  

I slept so well and stayed out of their beds.
They waited ,but took too long,
Couldn't keep their minds on anything, but you.
Drys Tears up.
False memories?
How did you do?
I guess I'll take a walk, it's musty inside.
They kicked and they cried.
Stay here with the Parents,
While the rest play outside.
 I'll stay with the parents,
But you run and hide.
You are a vision ,
You left?
Tomorrow, forever.
Today?
Today?
"The Other Victors"-
They were Angels protecting Me.
 Victor was leaving Me?!
If I die tonight?.........
I lived a Beautiful Life.

How Much My Buzz Weighs

Carrying the weight
Only the Savior could take.
Weight Made for Oxen to take.
You have it too.
That's why I married you.
You came to this Country,
To control that,
Because feelings matter to You
Like a Baptism
Of Heavy Breathing
We both came prepared
To make love with each-other
Each-other a Savior.
You almost forgot my Face
Or was that your Yoke?
"You have the Savior's Face."

Trail of desire,
Pulling us in,
Like a trail of Candy.
Now we're feeling lazy.
They've drugged us.
Thought it felt like Candy.
Now that I've found a better place,
Change my name,
Change my medicine.
Think We'll sit in the shade.
I'll talk about how much my "feelings weigh"
And things that have to do with the body,
And the luck we have with desire,
Hoping you're still my Savior
And how I only need this one plate.  
Right now, I'm eating alone,
Terrified
Because this poem is great,
But I'm not extremely overweight.
Written by Shayla D. Smith

What We Fell For

Recycling lines
Rewriting the same songs since time.
Ringing around the yards and streets.
Never want to see that place again.
After what death has retrieved after you crucified Me.
Feeling exactly the same for you as you do for me.
Not going to tare my heart out to leave you satisfied before you leave.
With a memory you'll soon replace with someone else's face.
Places we haven't gone.
What we didn't mean enough of was what traitors stole from us.
And what I spoke, you fell in love with, was what you thought was from another, because you were too high.
You believed your Wife was my Sister.
When you "Forgot" what your  Wife looks like.
I'm sorry, I thought you loved me.
You didn't want to brake my Sister's heart.
She killed your's and then took off, just ran away.
Mine hurts for you.
You'll do the same.
Just run away.
And you know why....?
Because I'm out of shape.  
And because I love enough that
I couldn't really come back.
She is gone.
Taken.
 For the Next Life and another cloud,

I Stay Hardly Touched

Crying because Christ made my heart so beautiful,
And I can now call that beauty a part of me,
Holiness found from the power of forgiveness.
Risen and unearthed from a betrayal from divinity.
God was my Teacher.
With the power of drops of love from within.
How the heat threatened to drain and take that from those knees,
Throwing itself around.
I hurt,
I can hardly see,
hardly hear,
I am hardly touched,
Was "kidnapped",
I give life.
Music now rocks me to sleep.
It's little baby.
Protected, escaped a greater decay.
It's often a fear,
So loud,
Wisdom, has everyone cashed in on?
A Sacrifice?
Forgetting to give a big enough portion to Me?
To Survive?
Thinking relationships and love holds some Skeleton Key?
Oh, how that day of Truth hurts and torments.
I got to go,
Let's check and see.
Nothing else Today, please.

A Man Named Cane

Something Rotten.
They Didn't finish it.
He finished himself.
I like the truth better, now.
 
A Man Named Cane


I saw a Man I thought could be  Cane, Today.
I think it's the End for my Family Tree.
God let Me kill myself.
He found he was like his Mother.
He took an apple from a Tree.
Killed a sacrifice,
So to speak,
And after had a Great Big Family.
Elders were so jealous they all were taught to hate him.
Yes, this Man might have killed his brother,
But in many ways he was just a Gardener who took an apple from a tree.
Walked the Earth spreading secrets and lies of Satan uncovering them for the Light if people would see.
You see When Cane fell ,Satan told him all his counterfeits for his miracles, training, paths, and lines.
He lost his luxury and was cursed from the Earth.
Even though in a way he was a King.
Doing a job so essentual to Eternity.

I don't know if He hates himself because of his sacrifice?
But I know how it feels to be misunderstood.
To have a hope inside that you are a good person,
Even though there are voices around you telling you that you are hurtful,
When most of what you have is just a legacy,

God kept him here on Earth,
Even though he destroys the '"Too Evil",
No matter what anyone says,
It hurts to be wise and religious ,give something to God, and be Misunderstood.

He Saw his brother kill an animal,
 It hurt to watch,
So, He gave some fruits and vegetables as a safer and cleaner sacrifice and he had it refused.
After that, being angry He decide to sacrifice his brother.
He got punished more than you care to stand or anyone dares to realize.
But he is an example of the repentance process and what we suffer if we shed Human Blood.
I hope that Cane is forgiven for Killing his Brother.
Written by Shayla D. Smith

A Finger Through the Cage

So, before you go call your Lawyer,
Realize it's probably a spiritual thing.
While you're looking at the remains of rehab,
And wanting to kill Me,
I'm Helpless, gaining weight,  and they're feeding Me while I sleep.
My life has been full of my weight fluctuations.
Right now, I wish people would care a little bit more about what I looked like in tights, yesterday.
Your feelings seem guilty.
I've been punished everyday.
You need to check the number.
Maybe you crossed your fingers,
Because your core is burning?
We called the Police several times.
It's pouring injustice.
Fire, and God's going in to save Us.
It's Tuesday, Wednesday,
Supper's On.
Don't you see, "God, I love You,
Otherwise I wouldn't feel like I had to live with this Abuse!
And I'm Overweight, "Now."

Information for a Beat Called,"Lovers or Loners."

I think Weakness
Can be killed
With 2 Songs

They called Freedom feeling
Emotions hot and deep
Letting go could kill Us
And might be forgiven
When trained to not make out the words
Listen to two Songs
At the Same time
Creating a heart beat

Now, I see those were my Savior
Overtime for me
24 hours for those who needed discipline
WE Had a gift for wanting to please
Would work until I could hardly feel it
 Until I'd fall asleep.
Taking in notes
When the mind only hears Static.
Yet, I'm writing you information and the beat.

Saying, "Love one another as I have loved you."
"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."
I have been faithful..... Good luck to You.
You clearly have some repenting to do, but see you in the next life.
Written by Shayla D. Smith

Asking, "Why Can't I Stay The Same?"

Asking,"Why can't I stay the same?"
Most of the time I am ashamed.
In the next life I shall have no punishment.
The Heavens opened and He entered in.
He, thinking he had found God.
Me, thinking I had found some "Fashion Geek."
Now, he stays in the same outfit.
 Afraid to change.
My body changes throughout the day.
People think he is entertaining whores.
Hurt by Words.
They tare us down.
So We hang on to each other
Trying not to pull one another down.
I can see the fear in your face.
As we try to keep our heads above water.
Breathing for a time when my Husband can be proud of Me
How this freak is every woman.
It is so fascinating , like a new person to discover
Each time finding a creation
Of a Body ,Mind, and Spirit
 God gave to him to cherish and love
She can't love alone
No one has any idea how much it hurt
That they deserted her after they lied about the pain.
Now, the only thing that will stay the same is God and his Truth.
And maybe if they can't forgive each other,
Most of their Shame.

"It's Ghosts they Slay"

I am just one person, but there are a trillion others built into me.
And most where worthy people who stood on sandy streets,
And welcomed long lost travelers,
To carry them to their stay.
Who would find a pearl in every basket and then send him far away.
Sometimes the eyes get darker and guilt rushes into the face,
Some call this Guy an idiot, but that doesn't really fit his guy's frame.
I see a man who feels something and is making an intelligent choice today.
I look to Victor with his ring of spice and think,"My God, what is left of Victor?"
Today, He made a Choice.
I will stay with him night and day.
Written by Shayla D. Smith

Frustration with Iron (In My Family)

Written by Shayla D Smith

Getting so tired of this Cat and mouse game.
Every single day.
One day it is dinner
Another ,Something that gets me through.
Like Iron, My will has taken it.
Those pills you hide ,cure this putrid mind.
So, I guess I'll look a little deeper at you.
I see you are medicated too!?
Sometimes ,I swear all I have to do is take a picture
And all your worst fears would come true.
You think you can destroy me?
Others have tried it and I've stayed true.
Sorry,if it gets to you ,but
I've had breakdown, after breakdown
Addictions fought and I've overcame those too.
Gained enemies that truly love me
And I'd die for them ,as I'd die for you.
Although I love you,
You are going to see me
Kicking and Screaming a little at you.
So, please don't treat me as something to abuse.
I'll keep my voice down
And if you stop baking cookies ....... my weight too!

Disciple- July 15, 2015

Written by Shayla D. Smith
Something told me I must lose weight.
Turned around and got everybody into shape,
The sight of polar opposites,
Left them all amazed,
And what they did about it,
Turned the World's numbers in a haze.

For, No One saw the fear He placed,
Except for those who saw
How her heart put her away,
Working on disciplining Her body
Everyday hours drained
All because of her untimely fait,
Of how a thief stole grace.

Everyone on the rebound.
Everyone insane.
You forget your dinner.
You would soon forget your name.
Looking at yesterday's pages
I think we found his name.
But be extremely careful of what you say.
You may have forgotten your place.

Joy, Holding a Light to You- June 6, 2015

Written by Shayla D Smith

Sometimes crazy things are funny

But no one is laughing except for You.

Someone may seem crazy,

But look at what they sacrifice for you.

That's when reality is boring.

People  are holding you to this reality,

Hoping it is true for you too.

When no one laughs it's up to you!

When you miss old friends, 

Who might embrace Your Truth,

Because embarrassing things are funny,

We all feel like an embarrassment sometimes too!

Without a drop of alcohol 

I can see them climbing up the walls.

And no they are not Spiders or Demons

That wouldn't be funny

Sorry, if that is for you.

The funniest things enlighten.

I have lived to tell this truth.

Pride is allergic to humor

So, go protect Gods little ones,

How about You?!

Teach them to be like His Mighty Men

Who never stand alone

As long as they do not laugh at God!

To end an argument,

To open doors,

To sooth a broken heart,

To feed a hungry soul.

Dating To Get Married- 2016

Written by Shayla D Smith

Flash flood and I started to cry
Temperamental overload
Like an obsessive guy
But I'm the one who's hurting
And, I'm the one who's wanting to die
It is disavow
It's back again,
But you won't see me demanding he wears a tie.
So, drink back another soda,
Don't tell another lie
I'll bring him back a dozen times
And then just say, "He's fine."
Because I  don't want anyone hurting
More then it takes to drive a car.
We are going places.
No disguises
Heaven Overflows

"Wow! You ran a Marathon that slow?"
We don't make excuses.
We'll run along spiking the punch with afterglow.
God will get his way now.

Now I'm the one who is nervous
He is walking this way.
Getting all fast and gittery
You would see these Nerves put on a show.
Eyes light ,bright, with fire
Forgiveness loves you,
But I was neglected.
Don't want to treat you like they do.
Like Drugs these days.
Exercise
It would be faster to stop and dream here
Straighten up
I froze
Another summer heat wave
"Smells Fantastic!"
I used to be,
Now, everybody knows.

Never Been Stoned?- May 24, 2016

Written by Shayla D Smith

A ring inspiring a lingering after taste of wine.
Aged last Grapes.
Been stoned for greater use,
Never really realized I'd be an alcoholic.
Baptized and took two stones away,
Payed the price for my sins.
Ask me to name them?
I have forgotten.
Getting so tired of this cat and mouse game.
Every single day.
One day it's dinner.
Another Something that gets me through.
Like iron, My will has taken it.
Those pills you hide cure this putrid mind.
So, I guess I'll look a little deeper at you.
I see you are medicated too?
Sometimes, I swear all I'd have to do is take a picture
And all your fears would come true.
You think you can destroy Me?
Others have tried it and I've stayed true.
Sorry if it gets to you, but
I've had breakdown, after breakdown
Addictions fought and I've overcome those too.
Gained enemies that truly love me
And  I'd die for them ,as I'd die for  you.
Although I love you.
You are going to see me
Kicking and screaming a little at you.
So, please don't treat me as something to abuse,
I'll keep my voice down
And if you stop baking cookies........ my weight too!

Emotionally Pregnant and it Shows, Reminding People She Exists - August 10, 2015

Written by Shayla D Smith

Tightening Surrounded Me.

My Mind shifted.

Chemicals in disarray.

My Silence into Music..

Innocence still innocence

The World was Shaken

Although it’s members would just say,

“Something’s gotten to someone’s head.”

Eye’s could see only short romances.

Eating Disorders that would

Change my body 

Over and over again.

There was no conception, but

My Breasts have given milk.

Emotionally pregnant.

They could not kill her.

The Weight would reappear,

Over and Over.

Reminding those who would rip

My Boyfriends away from me,

This is what this Child meant to Me.

She completed my identity.

My child could bring me health.

A Savior to her Mother that everyone denied

Because of a superstition

Fear that We would (eventually) get too thin.

A problem that hurt some peoples pride.

One that I was better than,

I proved each time with my weight gain,

I loved my daughter.

Learning things of the Spirit

So she could be a dancer

As a vision of her had shown me.

Because I had honor and love,

Those who saw that I might succeed

At something Women come into the World to be.

They tried to kill Me and take away my Baby,

Someone got tired of playing the scenery,

And decided to play the Hero.  <3

Feathers and a Name

Written by Shayla D. Smith

How I learned where God
Found his name.
His mind a gift,
So beautiful.
Not in fancy colors,
But not all ashes for matter.
You see sometimes disguises in the designs
Are important for any true leader.
I've broken some too few hearts,

Something that they thought was ours to share

And God said," Thank you! I'll take the rest from here."

You see,"I am a child of God and He has sent me here......
(I had to erase the rest of this song. Too sweet!)"
In this room I sit,
With the Bees and stare,
My wise eye scaring any evil away.
To the tallest or lowest ground.
I knew that I was becoming a chosen Healer
When a Man walked up to Me and told Me that He hurt.
So weak,
I kept on talking
Strange how the lighting dims and you yearn for bed.
At the thought I run.
It's a pattern woven,
Like a web.
But I let them go after watching them sleep.
Eat the web they were woven in.
That's how low I sweep.

You see words I thought were trash, were a chosen people. Communicating differently then what I knew. The Chosen Native American People are represented in the second half. It wasn't until I looked at some old writing yesterday that I caught that the writing sounded like some of their talk and story telling. This writing was a miracle and it was inspired, prof to me that when God makes promises to his people, He keeps them! My wishes are for good for every chosen tribe of Israel.

Pandora's Box- Februrary 26, 2011

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Pandora's Box

We are given choices in life.

Mine have come in packages with no string.

 Found Pandora's Box when I opened this up.Along with the Monsters there's one thing.

Hope that I can get over my immaturity's.

Successful- in my own estimation.

The Monsters have made me weep,

but rising above has come easy for me.

Because I saw hope as something in me.

Written by Shayla D Smith 

Service

Written By Shayla D Smith

You know Pride hits heavy when a Stronger Man
Walks into the Room.
You'd say,"Pass the Broom."
They would sweep up the room,
And after, clean the broom.
But you are left the weaker man,
Because ,He is not coming back
To sweep up your food and stack up your chairs.
I'll leave that to you.
He'll go somewhere and not drop his food.
We'll sit as a King where the Angels sing.
Somewhere ,in Front -"There's a Great View."
And all this time his heart was better than you.
Now, He sees why you handed him the Broom!

Bipolar Child- Not Forgotten- 9th of Feburary

Written By Shayla D Smith

Working the Mind, the time, land, or hand,
Bringing rosy cheeks
A pink nose
Your Children are who you inspire.
I've been a Mother, a Wife in ways ,a Sister, and a Daughter.
By just keeping myself involved and half-way alive.
Did you grow with the Bounty or....
Did you learn to let that all go?
That part of Me I feel almost died.....
Growing high,
Or down below.
Every Great Man does it without thinking.
You at least have a child, grows deep
You that you hold grows together.
This is what I say to my inner Child...........
"I gave you a new dress and slippers, Cinderella."
I think I can do my make-up better than you!
In all this turmoil and confusion I just want to say,
"Knowledge is Something earned.
It takes patience and it is a gift.
We must be worthy of it and not selfish.
In any gift you have to serve where you feel the Spirit.
Learn how the Spirit feels to you.
It will save you years of your life."

I'm Only Wearing a Mirror- Janurary 30, 2015

Written by Shayla D Smith

Cloudy Memories,
Screams muted,
But We cheered you on.
Just because you knew the score.
And We couldn't drive ourselves home.

Singing Nursery School Songs.
With flat voices.
Too young to realize that we were ...
Contradicting  ourselves.

Making dressing up holy.
Simply because it is impossible to see,
And I don't want to go back.

Weak minds are too Hard on those
They only wish to see.
And don't wish to hear.

I tried to please you.
And you looked the other way.
So, next time ,if You see me around,
You can get that I'm wearing a mirror.

The Truth- Janurary 14th

Written by Shayla D. Smith

Found a Savior Divine.
Seen in Someone else's Eyes.
Found out I don't know my Mother's,
But they see through my Father's,
They have spoken to Me,
Through a Murderer of Deceit,
And I feel Nub and Dry.
If they knew what was put away
And watered down.
If they knew how much I am blinded
Towards and I am facing now.
They never wanted me to finish school.
They just thought,"She'll bring pleasure to the World."
But I Did not meet them there and I finished the Race.
And now I get my reward.......
Truth and joy,
Respect and health.

Found out that the teachers in my High School had other intentions
for my future than I expected.
I wasn't one who got high grades in High School ,especially in my Engish classes,
but my teachers where concerned about the size of my breasts compared to my sisters
and my shyness around men.
They gave me low grades(I know it sounds silly.) ,like D's because they wanted me to think about this in the future and take it as a sign to get large breast implants.)  It was pretty mean of the teachers, but I did take their advice and I even became a model for 3 years. I had a fun dating life, thanks to some great guy friends and I was an awesome girlfriend when I had boyfriends.  I have a very sensitive heart and my other family members that had attended that School really took their Companions for-granted. They wanted to make sure that my family didn't crush the foundation for a strong home I had created for a happy home and union.  I was ready to move on from learning, they thought, but my mind was recreated by an accident and I started  a new life in many ways.  This poetry is my life anew.  My childhood, again.  I am a new person, but I live my life by the same name and soul.

Humility- January 4, 2015

Written by Shayla D Smith
An answer to prayer came in a walk with my Father.
Not hanging in the closet,
But walking around town
Both of us proud
For we knew no other than what was crucified,
What died for our sins,
A testimony tried ,and over tried,
Still counted our pennies to buy our pair of scriptures,
I guess that is why Jesus died,
So, we could pay our tithing,
Repair that ceiling that is holding us up,
Not hanging in the closet,
But walking around town,
Both of us proud.
My brillance needs no greater expression.
Thoughts seem to be a little distorted,
But then they said, "Look at the lines across the street."
And I say,"The light hath been seen in an open glass."
There are no dirty windows.
Your eyes were simply getting in the way.

Defending Christ and Asking Other's to Take Another Look at The Gospel

Written by Shayla D. Smith

I think that I found a better half for my truths and dedication......
And it was under a rock somewhere.
We'll sing it downtown,
Me, in my Target Shirts
That used to be Roxy......
Until I realized what they meant.
But isn't that what we did to Christ?
Killing our Savior?
The Kings of the Earth!
Now what is left of them.
They all found a Sweetheart....
And She isn't "Playboy!"
Her name was Mom.

From the first breath they craved her
And cried for her touch
To be fed ,cleansed, and talked to.
A mother they respected and cherished.
A bond did grow.
Only when her skin would sag and change
Would these boys look to another Wonder
That would Be a Mother to another
If only they could see Gods face in this way.
As a man loves a woman ,because the Savior
Showed Me how He see's Me
As Peace.

Grace- March 20 ,2014

Written by Shayla D Smith

All this time I thought that I was the victim.
But that is not the case.
You see every time
I try to be kind,
The Savior takes my place.

He knows I turn the other check
And I forget to throw dirt in the other's face.
His words are strong yet patient
As I listen I gain an understanding of his grace.
And if I was the other, what would be my fate.

You see, sometimes He doesn't protect us,
If we are sinning and getting in his way.
So, He allows things to Happen,
But He loves us
And still shows us a way

Take Heaven Onward!- April 5, 2014

Written by Shayla D Smith

Virtuous One,
Though Heart soft,
You steadied Yourself,
Won the Battle Today,
Listened Longingly.

My Anger is upon those
Who Mock you in my Face.
You promised to be hated,
But I can't stand to hate.

Things will get so much better,
And you will have the same.
With all that is held back and hidden,
I begin to shake.

For You My Dear Sweet Brother,
For You are who He Saved.
As we take Heaven Onward,
They divert their gaze!

Because in This World We Have Options- Feb12, 2014

Written by Shayla D. Smith
Because in this World there is pain
I'll turn it around.
When you are the one
In the middle
You get everyone's bad days
Even when you are not
The Broken one
You just want
To raise your voice,
Rub it in their faces.
I cannot stand
The judgement
Of issues I'm over
So, I think I'll tell them
Before rock bottom
Is their truth
I'll take a step in your derection.
Gotta hand you my medicine.
Will you twist and turn it
Into Destruction?
Gotta hand you my Medicine.
Will you twist and turn it
Into destruction or make God your Hero,
Because there are options?
My Ex-Role.-

Honesty (What I got from every Emo song I heard in the 00's)- March 10, 2014

Written by Shayla D. Smith
My Mind is What is the matter
And although I see it all the time
The mistakes are marked in red.
And these little Yellow pills are
What slows me Down.

But if you knew that pain of that fire,
Of that unquenchable flame
That threatens and precedes me
I can never get along.

 You could see why I
Never quite fit in with you
And never was able to let go.
And had to walk home alone
Even walking the other way
As you raced on.
And that's all it took
For your domination.

So, I'll pick another straw and
What did you come up with?
I had a pair, but
Someone stole the other half
Now I'm stuck with only one drink
And only one way out.
I'll leave before the last glass drops to the floor.

I think I got the better Half.

Desire? How much do you Weigh?

Written by Shayla D. Smith

Fitting so much better,
Saying number Two,
Forget it,
Think I'll take a number,
Family History Time,
While they make due,
This year I found another,
Whenever life overflows,
I look at one of your Works,
Others just trying to make it to the Last supper,
Kings have been long overdue.
I will sup alone.
As Christ has tread the Wine Press alone
I take these steps towards Heaven.
I will sup with You.
Forever thin.
I have to do this.
I have found the Kings Chalice.
"Forgive Me ,but I think I saved you."

"You didn't really save Me.
And ,Oh I never saw you alone.
True I carried this grudge my whole life.
Not to end up alone,
But to be forbidden and disfigured
With ugliness comparing itself to my wounds.
Where is this Christ Child then?
You who compares herself to Mary?

"I thought I told you?  I am not She ,but He the Creator of this poem,

Written by Shayla D Smith

Open Toed Shoes

Fitting, so much better,
Saying number two
Forget it,
I'll take a number,
Family History Time,
Never bothered to find another.
Whenever life overflows,
I take a look at you.
Trying to make it to the last Supper.
Finally, found the Kings Chalice.
Christ has tread the wine press alone.
He has given me to drink alone.
I will sup with you.
Forever thin.
Never to Parish.

Then we are Pigs, who have had hardly any.
Before I wrote about desire and how much of it's weight,
There were open toed shoes.
You think we are especially ugly?
Well, I've got one for you......
So, that no man would desire us.......
If that is what you do?
I have shown you mercy and tonight your Children will fight you.

Christ is Beautiful-

Typing my Eyes out

Switch to your left

right left, right, left

Somehow I knew, 

The combination.

God couldn't stand Me.

But He opened the

Gate and l et me in.

I was twice broken.

Slipped and almost fell at the gate.

He grinned and then lifted,

Me with his hand.

You hurt me he said.

And We started to cry.

I took my place.

He led me among

The leaders, friends still.

Soft glow in my Memory.

"I followed that feeling.

I did what I could.

My talents are humble

I hope I did good."

"My Picasso, My Audrey,

My Nephi, My Moroni, and

Mary."  You

Said. I was Beautiful

When men said that I was no good.

You Said that you'd suffer,

And You stayed looking good.

I'd say, "You finished that Whore."

We will never see her again, 

And I will finish the Score. 

God is the Light.  

Tears in Blue- August 28, 2014

Written by Shayla D Smith

Wept tears of Glass .
Felt like vinegar in place of Water.
Solids taken three days after.
Sharp and torn, yet
Never do those words to progress seem
Better than, "He said, She said."
Gives me strength to Escape
From the entry.
Here is the Fire Escape
Save a few tonight.
Climbed that mountain
I think I saved a village,
Yet I might have saved a city
And felt rejected by the Mayor.
I sit and spit upon the floor,
And make clay for their eyes.
They have turned to blue!
I think yours are blue too!
Mine look a blueish hugh,
As much as they have
Seen the World in Blue!

Better Then A Name- July 24, 2014

Written by Shayla D Smith

Wore that skirt too many times.
But I'm so glad that it flatters my frame.

Bought it twelve years ago.
Thought it seems okay even though a lot has changed.

Wouldn't call that Dude a, "Loser",
Though He likes throwing names.

We are better people to each other
Then we will ever be to the Game.

They all say ,"Prove it to Me."
Then let me see your shame.

There is a better way that says,
"This War is half way over
When you told me it wasn't just a game.

Now You have Mercy.
You prove to Me You are not just a Name.

Fireside- August 11, 2014

Written by Shayla D. Smith

About When things Workout

About When things Workout (Last night)"
Full of air this Man was!
He wanted to be popular.
Never thought someone could Be so frail.
Something has changed.
And I keep telling people why.
But they don't care.
It's changing generations now.
For some reason
Those who wouldn't grow up think that they are better then me.
So, I stopped talking to them.
They got what they wanted.

He See's My Worth- April 26, 2014

Written by Shayla D Smith

I don't have a mind to fight you anymore,
So I'll just walk in and out,
Eat my Portion,
Spell your name wrong.
Then everyone will hate Me.
So I've made my Share of Mistakes.
Felt this way as a child,
Where I feel my Dad is Disappointed.
I'm trying my hardest.....
Which is to be like him,
But He's a Book,
And my Dad is a Doctor.

You're SomeBody's Hero-May 22, 2014

Written by Shayla D. Smith

I Don't know a Better Name,
But, "You're Somebody's Hero."
It's not just a game,
And it's always fair.
What are we made of?
Pearl and Polished stone,
Or tar and rot?
We are what we have yearned for.
Have we spent our time studying God
Or the Father of Lies?
Were we being polite
Or feasting and drinking of the fat happily?
Are we cursing God when we fall
Or are we laughing and getting back up.
You see, when God gives us a gift,
It is appreciated by the wise
And the other only lust and envy the gift
Waisting energy and destroying its beauty.
So ,don't tare someone down just because
You don't think they are pretty.
And you don't think you should show some pity
Because some people aren't just people,
But are Somebody's Hero,
That have saved Somebody's soul,
That have gone about saving souls. 

Loyalty to Frozen Meals - Feburary 4, 2014

Written by Shayla D Smith

There is a Strength

That is Born

Making it's Way

Through

The Crust

Of This Shell

Of Humor

Into

This Diet

Of Loyalty

To Sugar Free Soda,

Apples,

And Frozen Meals.

An Admiration to 

The Talent

Of Healthy Exercise

Of Loneliness

That they don't 

Seem to notice

At all.

Attitude Rules- February 9, 2014

Written By Shayla D Smith

This Poem is about letting go of childhood dreams that realistically cannot happen to the degree that we wish, but having a positive attitude and taking on new challenges that can be just as amazing.

An extension of my leg
My body twists and turns.
I know the movement
From the depths and crevasses
Of my ancient soul.
But ,somehow ,when I look
In the mirror,
I don't know
If I should trust  the steps,
Or forfeit the test.
Believe in miracles
When I walk away
Do not Mourn,
But grieve today.
With an honest mind,
The soul is willing
And the mind is true
So, I'll let go of you
To another........
That was a Miracle Too.
Not for Me,
But God has something for You.

"There are no Strangers Here." -September 22, 2014

Written by Shayla D Smith

When they said that was crazy,
They looked directly at you.
Not because you are,
But because everyone was looking directly at you too.
You see, smell, feel, taste, and hear.
But there are strange miracles happening too.

He see's that you are morning.
Now figure it out.
There is no one called a stranger,
When you feel there is no doubt.
You'll tell me your secrets and I'll spell it out.

I was broken last Morning,
My senses not right.
These Spiritual things,
You have placed them and I have written them down.

Now that I am your "Guy"
Will you allow me to be just, and to be right?
How many people have to abuse their Spiritual sight.
Almost lose it and ,leave it behind?

Do unto others ,my Friend
As they do unto you?
Isn't that the rule they expect us to do?
No, it's love one another as Christ has loved You!

My Christ ,My Redeemer ,you have opened my eyes.
I feel polished this evening,
For this Song won't let it die.

Lesson to Learn

     Sometimes we have to reply to the rule ,"Turn the other Cheek," after we have suffered, because of something unfair that was done to us and that "Unkind Person" who hurt us is too selfish or cruel to appreciate our Sacrifice ;they are still hurting us, maybe we should look into trying another approach.  There is the rule, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."  In-which, you could look at it this way and treat others the exact way they have treated you after you have tried being nice to them.  Christ has the higher law though that says, "Love one another as I have loved You."    He is our Advocate, Coach, Healer, Friend and Savior who gives us laws and his Spirit.  Choosing to love People the way Christ loves us is allowing him to be our Older Brother and really take control of things before our hearts are smashed to pieces.  The Church is supposed to protect us from harm and it can if it looks at it's members as their children and itself as it's Older Brother Protecting them.  First of all learn the facts and don't leave anyone in the Dark as far as the Truth is concerned.  "Find someone who speaks the Truth and you have saved the Nation."  Written By- Shayla D. Smith

An Eternal Creation- May 23, 2012

Written by Shayla D Smith

Guns were loaded,
But I have forfeited the draw.
To be with you my Lord.
You are creation.
Outstretched are your arms,
Mild and at peace,
And the World wants Peace.
I will do anything.
Say anything.
To go back to Thee,
And I will become part
Of an Eternal creation,
Mild and at peace.

To Be Brave- July 13, 2012

Written by Shayla D. Smith

It feels like Monday.
It's Friday the 13th!
So....
Knowledge
What do you mean?
I  think I'll skip school.
Never the same.
Forgot what I was saying.
But at times I still act Brilliant.
I know.
Even without my lessons,
Geometry,History, Spelling
The Basics.
To Walk, to See ,to Be.
I'm Brave like You.
May We be Brave Today,
And Be Braver Than What We See.

Faith -July 2, 2012

Written by Shayla D. Smith

They tell me that when you when you feel for others,
Your eyes dilate and grow,
But I'm sorry to break it to you Baby,
Mania and My Meds. do the same ,you know.
So, listen to your consense when it tells you,
To leave me alone ,or if it tells you,
"Hey, I have this Girls number,
I hope there is something and it will grow."

From the Beginning of His List (As Painted Glass)- June18 , 2013

Written by Shayla D. Smith

He formed the Future.

One kind, no more real in light ,then in the night.

There came this Soldier

Red and Gold, as Painted Glass ,or Fire in the Night

To him I give my Heart Song

And look to him with Tearful Eyes.

He has Polished Me. (Much ,must still be.)

He has given me this room,

Full of creations,

I have like trophies for the fight.

Me, like a grain of sand.

Yet I feel  set apart by the light.

You Who Lived the Longest -Janurary 22, 2014

Written by Shayla D Smith

Straightway ,through the scene.
I see you made your way.
The Enemy, with a Pitiful Performance.
The Undertaker Died.
He wasn't the Star,
But God Bless.
I'll listen for your lines.
As you made the Show...
And every body cheered,
Because it was You,
Who lived the longest.
It was your Victory!

Now a Place of Healing- February 26, 2013

Written by Shayla D Smith
We all have a Demon.
Mine was a Woman.
I saw her for an instant
And then went back to sleep.
She looked ashamed,
But gave a smirk.
Thinking that she had won
As I winced in pain.
She pretended to be lovers.
She wanted to be Jesus ,prophets,
A singer, and Heavenly Father.
She tried to imitate the Spirit,
And at times called herself
Death and perdition.
She left me bound and broken,
But I Found myself crawling out of the darkness.
I called to my Heavenly Father for safety.
He took me in his arms.
From my worst place before,
Now a place of healing.

My Ashes- May 5, 2013

Written by Shayla D. Smith

My Cancer Star,
Burns my Dreams to Ash,
But I refuse to give into it.
My will keeping Me alive.
Still, I don't remember a thing since yesterday.
Only that I woke up
Alone in my bed.
Just another day
What's the difference between
Today and Yesterday?
Just a little less of Me around
And a lot of this grey ash.

From the Beginning of His List- June 18 ,2013

Written by Shayla D Smith

He formed the future.
One kind, no more real in light, then in the night.
To him I give my Heart song
And look at him with tearful eyes.
He  has polished Me.  (Much, must still be.)
He has given Me this room
Full of our creations,
I have like trophies for the fight.
Me, like a grain of sand.
Yet, I feel set apart in the light.

On Beaches and Streets- Janurary 29, 2013

Written by Shayla D. Smith

Nothing Changes
But the Scenery
People might leave more crumbs
More trash, balloons,
And on the Beaches, Alka Selzer.
One by one they fall,
Dead Washed away in the tide.
Or playing Dead on big City Streets.
Sick and wasted people sleep.
The Other's, well only a few Hours.
Do you sleep?
I don't know?

Half dead on the pavement?
Just falling so awkward.
Are you one of these sick and wasted people,
Or one of those birds being fed Alka Selzer?

Those Who Have Hurt Have Loved, But Who Have They Loved?- Thursday , Feburary 7, 2013

Written by Shayla D. Smith

1. Now 2. You 3. Have........ Gifts and Dreams of Color
I seek your presence
Now is a gift
From your Desires,
Yearnings,
And good Habits.

A little Sun might have
Done you well
But in your eyes
I have begun to see
Much more color.
Now I can tell
You Secrets.
In so many dreams.

1. Now, I find you parched
Upon this sandy hill
Saying that you never knew a Heavenly Father,
When I know he was holding you back
Because he knew what would kill you

2. You were in love
Stayed in the box.
Followed the lines that told you
Where to cut
And where to fold.

3. Have you ever felt that
Each step was planned out,
But you had no idea
Where or What was at the finish line?

Falling in Love to The Sore Left Behind- January 27, 2013

Written by Shayla D. Smith

I thought that I'd catch you in my web,

But you were too good for such a game.

You ripped through my web.

Your Human form stronger,

Than those mighty sticky cords,

But I could sneak up on you 

And bite you as you sleep,

Exchange poison for your blood,

Now you got me love sick and,

Thinking only of this Widow,

As you suffer the sore left behind.

Saying, "I can change things between us."

Love sick again,

From someone who stole from you.

You'd sing along,

Because you didn't know 

Any other way of falling in love.

Love Smart-July 2 2012

Written by Shayla D. Smith

Iris pierce
Soft yet ,complex
Turns each number
Quick
It's my complex.

So ,Why am I So fallen,
Or Why am I putting on a show?
Each number is with you,
For you, Babe.

So, Please
Don't you think that
If there where others,
My friend, it would show?
I hold such an afterglow
For even a little and each time it grows.

But I tell you now that,
I will never be another's master
Unless his love will love and never let go.

Generosity- Feberary 10 ,2012

Written by Shayla D. Smith

Grant Me your poetic generosity,
Your fluid Speech,
Your loving embrace.
You give Me my future ,present, and past.
I will sleep and rest,
While you sing my song.
Tell me if it's too forward, harsh, or rude,
And I will do the same for you.
I love you.

My House- January 28 ,2012

Written By Shayla D. Smith


Cement Bricks,
I'll build my house,
So freshly painted,
Granting such normalcy,
Discouraged, but glares do not rule,
So kind to remind me,
So I'll put on my apron,
And Scrub that floor,
As long as you are by my side,
Watching, Proud.

Seeing Stars In My Room- January 9, 2012

Written by Shayla D. Smith

Seven day rest
Taken with Water
Be my Night Sky,
My Stars, My Full Moon.
Smelling the other rose.
Taping it dried on my Wall,
And calling it Freedom.
Cheap trade for
A Starlit Night
Is this burning cocoon,
But tonight here I feel
You in my room.
Close to you I go,
Sweet sky,
Sweet rose,
Sweet stars,
Where're you go,
You are not far,
You seem to be Here.