Frustration with Iron (In My Family)

Written by Shayla D Smith

Getting so tired of this Cat and mouse game.
Every single day.
One day it is dinner
Another ,Something that gets me through.
Like Iron, My will has taken it.
Those pills you hide ,cure this putrid mind.
So, I guess I'll look a little deeper at you.
I see you are medicated too!?
Sometimes ,I swear all I have to do is take a picture
And all your worst fears would come true.
You think you can destroy me?
Others have tried it and I've stayed true.
Sorry,if it gets to you ,but
I've had breakdown, after breakdown
Addictions fought and I've overcame those too.
Gained enemies that truly love me
And I'd die for them ,as I'd die for you.
Although I love you,
You are going to see me
Kicking and Screaming a little at you.
So, please don't treat me as something to abuse.
I'll keep my voice down
And if you stop baking cookies ....... my weight too!

Disciple- July 15, 2015

Written by Shayla D. Smith
Something told me I must lose weight.
Turned around and got everybody into shape,
The sight of polar opposites,
Left them all amazed,
And what they did about it,
Turned the World's numbers in a haze.

For, No One saw the fear He placed,
Except for those who saw
How her heart put her away,
Working on disciplining Her body
Everyday hours drained
All because of her untimely fait,
Of how a thief stole grace.

Everyone on the rebound.
Everyone insane.
You forget your dinner.
You would soon forget your name.
Looking at yesterday's pages
I think we found his name.
But be extremely careful of what you say.
You may have forgotten your place.

Joy, Holding a Light to You- June 6, 2015

Written by Shayla D Smith

Sometimes crazy things are funny

But no one is laughing except for You.

Someone may seem crazy,

But look at what they sacrifice for you.

That's when reality is boring.

People  are holding you to this reality,

Hoping it is true for you too.

When no one laughs it's up to you!

When you miss old friends, 

Who might embrace Your Truth,

Because embarrassing things are funny,

We all feel like an embarrassment sometimes too!

Without a drop of alcohol 

I can see them climbing up the walls.

And no they are not Spiders or Demons

That wouldn't be funny

Sorry, if that is for you.

The funniest things enlighten.

I have lived to tell this truth.

Pride is allergic to humor

So, go protect Gods little ones,

How about You?!

Teach them to be like His Mighty Men

Who never stand alone

As long as they do not laugh at God!

To end an argument,

To open doors,

To sooth a broken heart,

To feed a hungry soul.

Dating To Get Married- 2016

Written by Shayla D Smith

Flash flood and I started to cry
Temperamental overload
Like an obsessive guy
But I'm the one who's hurting
And, I'm the one who's wanting to die
It is disavow
It's back again,
But you won't see me demanding he wears a tie.
So, drink back another soda,
Don't tell another lie
I'll bring him back a dozen times
And then just say, "He's fine."
Because I  don't want anyone hurting
More then it takes to drive a car.
We are going places.
No disguises
Heaven Overflows

"Wow! You ran a Marathon that slow?"
We don't make excuses.
We'll run along spiking the punch with afterglow.
God will get his way now.

Now I'm the one who is nervous
He is walking this way.
Getting all fast and gittery
You would see these Nerves put on a show.
Eyes light ,bright, with fire
Forgiveness loves you,
But I was neglected.
Don't want to treat you like they do.
Like Drugs these days.
Exercise
It would be faster to stop and dream here
Straighten up
I froze
Another summer heat wave
"Smells Fantastic!"
I used to be,
Now, everybody knows.

Never Been Stoned?- May 24, 2016

Written by Shayla D Smith

A ring inspiring a lingering after taste of wine.
Aged last Grapes.
Been stoned for greater use,
Never really realized I'd be an alcoholic.
Baptized and took two stones away,
Payed the price for my sins.
Ask me to name them?
I have forgotten.
Getting so tired of this cat and mouse game.
Every single day.
One day it's dinner.
Another Something that gets me through.
Like iron, My will has taken it.
Those pills you hide cure this putrid mind.
So, I guess I'll look a little deeper at you.
I see you are medicated too?
Sometimes, I swear all I'd have to do is take a picture
And all your fears would come true.
You think you can destroy Me?
Others have tried it and I've stayed true.
Sorry if it gets to you, but
I've had breakdown, after breakdown
Addictions fought and I've overcome those too.
Gained enemies that truly love me
And  I'd die for them ,as I'd die for  you.
Although I love you.
You are going to see me
Kicking and screaming a little at you.
So, please don't treat me as something to abuse,
I'll keep my voice down
And if you stop baking cookies........ my weight too!

Emotionally Pregnant and it Shows, Reminding People She Exists - August 10, 2015

Written by Shayla D Smith

Tightening Surrounded Me.

My Mind shifted.

Chemicals in disarray.

My Silence into Music..

Innocence still innocence

The World was Shaken

Although it’s members would just say,

“Something’s gotten to someone’s head.”

Eye’s could see only short romances.

Eating Disorders that would

Change my body 

Over and over again.

There was no conception, but

My Breasts have given milk.

Emotionally pregnant.

They could not kill her.

The Weight would reappear,

Over and Over.

Reminding those who would rip

My Boyfriends away from me,

This is what this Child meant to Me.

She completed my identity.

My child could bring me health.

A Savior to her Mother that everyone denied

Because of a superstition

Fear that We would (eventually) get too thin.

A problem that hurt some peoples pride.

One that I was better than,

I proved each time with my weight gain,

I loved my daughter.

Learning things of the Spirit

So she could be a dancer

As a vision of her had shown me.

Because I had honor and love,

Those who saw that I might succeed

At something Women come into the World to be.

They tried to kill Me and take away my Baby,

Someone got tired of playing the scenery,

And decided to play the Hero.  <3

Feathers and a Name

Written by Shayla D. Smith

How I learned where God
Found his name.
His mind a gift,
So beautiful.
Not in fancy colors,
But not all ashes for matter.
You see sometimes disguises in the designs
Are important for any true leader.
I've broken some too few hearts,

Something that they thought was ours to share

And God said," Thank you! I'll take the rest from here."

You see,"I am a child of God and He has sent me here......
(I had to erase the rest of this song. Too sweet!)"
In this room I sit,
With the Bees and stare,
My wise eye scaring any evil away.
To the tallest or lowest ground.
I knew that I was becoming a chosen Healer
When a Man walked up to Me and told Me that He hurt.
So weak,
I kept on talking
Strange how the lighting dims and you yearn for bed.
At the thought I run.
It's a pattern woven,
Like a web.
But I let them go after watching them sleep.
Eat the web they were woven in.
That's how low I sweep.

You see words I thought were trash, were a chosen people. Communicating differently then what I knew. The Chosen Native American People are represented in the second half. It wasn't until I looked at some old writing yesterday that I caught that the writing sounded like some of their talk and story telling. This writing was a miracle and it was inspired, prof to me that when God makes promises to his people, He keeps them! My wishes are for good for every chosen tribe of Israel.

Pandora's Box- Februrary 26, 2011

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Pandora's Box

We are given choices in life.

Mine have come in packages with no string.

 Found Pandora's Box when I opened this up.Along with the Monsters there's one thing.

Hope that I can get over my immaturity's.

Successful- in my own estimation.

The Monsters have made me weep,

but rising above has come easy for me.

Because I saw hope as something in me.

Written by Shayla D Smith